During a game drive in the Serengeti this morning we were delighted to discover a cheetah looking to make a meal out of either a Thomson’s gazelle or a red hartebeest.  We stopped the vehicle to watch for a while and the cheetah was singling out a meal from among the many antelope so we hoped for a chase.

After a half-hearted attempt to catch a gazelle, the cheetah stopped for a while to catch its breath and perched on a small mound to better survey the area.  A hyena, attracted by the chase, came over toward the cheetah and began to harass it a bit.  Although capable of catching their own meals occasionally, hyenas are scavengers therefore tend to follow around cheetah if they can because when the cheetah catches an antelope the hyena can simply steal the carcass due to its larger size.

Both predators came toward the truck where we’d been sitting for about 15 minutes and then walked past the cabin toward a slightly distant rise about 40m away.  It was at this moment that the SPOTD award was given because one of the others on our tour decided that since we were sitting still in the truck, it would be an excellent time to nip out for a pee break.  After all, if we were all watching the animals out one side of the truck, he reasoned he could just pee on the other side and nobody would be watching.

Wandering in the Serengeti near two reasonably large carnivores did not occur to him as a bad idea.  It was apparently only when the guide yelled at him and demanded that he get back into the vehicle that he realised he was not faster than a gazelle and therefore would rapidly become lunch.

Categories: Travel, SPOTD, Africa 2007
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On our tour of Tanzania there was a female Australian named Zoe that, quite frankly, was absurdly stupid. Travelling alone (probably because anyone who met her for more than three minutes would never consider travelling with her), her idea of a fantastic holiday in Africa was to go out on game drives and spot animals. Fair enough - sounds like the same sort of idea we had, right? Alas, where we came to a difference of opinion was that when we found an animal, we were able to fight the urge to lean out the nearest window and scream loudly at it. Zoe was not…

Every time we came to a pond containing hippos, Zoe would excitedly scream “HEY! HUNGRY HUNGRY HIPPOS! DO SOMETHING! GET OUT OF THE WATER! MOVE! MOVE! HEY! HIPPOS! HUNGRY HUNGRY HIPPOS!”

She would also scream inane things like “HELLO BAMBI!” at impala, “HELLO KITTY! HERE KITTY KITTY KITTY!” at lions, etc. The animals naturally reacted by moving away from the truck quickly so all we saw were rapidly receding backsides. Obviously this was not the sort of thing the other travellers wanted so they tried telling her to be a little quieter but to no avail.

During one game drive when she yelled at an impala, I leaned over to Di in what I honestly thought was a quiet fashion and muttered “Does she have to yell at EVERY animal?“. Evidently it was not quiet enough because Zoe heard me and then barked at me that she could in fact yell at every animal she wanted to because she had paid for her trip and she was entitled to enjoy it so I could go to hell.

In a lovely karmic twist, and I wish I could take credit for slipping her laxatives in her coffee but cannot, Zoe got a large dose of gastro the next day and spent the rest of the week lying asleep on the truck during most game drives. Too afraid to yell out the window unless squeezing her abdominal muscles led to an unexpected release of bodily fluids, the world was suddenly a better place.

Categories: Travel, SPOTD, Africa 2007
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First SPOTD award went to me very early on. In fact, it was because it was early that I got the SPOTD award. In the very wee hours of the morning (pre-5am) it turns out that my brain does not function well and we were a quarter of the way to the airport before I remembered that I’d left my Akubra on the couch in the house and we had to go back to get it. We eventually made it to the airport in time and with the hat but minus another $15 in taxi fares.

Categories: Travel, SPOTD, Africa 2007
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I noticed a deal on the South African website for Avis car rentals, exclusively for foreign visitors, where the liability/excess in the event of an accident/theft would be $0. When I checked the fine print, I found that the particular insurance coverage included in the deal did have a liability/excess in such situations so emailed for clarification.

My emailed response advised me to contact the e-commerce department … using the TELEPHONE NUMBER provided. Great. Not only am I on the other side of the world, the e-commerce department can’t be contacted electronically. Brilliant use of the internet, Avis!

Categories: SPOTD, Africa 2007
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Later this year we’re planning on travelling in Africa. Last night I was checking through some paperwork that needed to be dealt with in relation to the travel and figured I’d confirm the flight times since we made the booking about 6 months ago. Turned out to be a good thing because although we’re flying on a Qantas service it’s actually a South African Airways plane and they had changed their flight times by 12 hours and we had not been informed.

Their records indicate that on 24 July we were advised but, unusually, there is no record of who told us nor a record of who was told. Obviously airlines record that sort of information so that if there’s a dispute later on they can say “but we told X on Y date so you knew” but this was just rubber-stamped as “we told them” without telling us. Great. After some considerable time on the phone with a very helpful and concerned Qantas employee, it looks like we’re now changing our flight path so we’re not stuck in Perth airport for 14 hours. Hurrah.

Still, I’m glad I didn’t just follow the instructions on the letter we received with the tickets…

It is no longer necessary to confirm Qantas flights.

Categories: SPOTD, Africa 2007
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I need a document to be certified for use in some upcoming travel.  I went to the nearby building that has a JP service between 12pm - 2pm and made an appointment with the woman on the front desk for today.  On the booking sheet was a statement that some documents to be used overseas couldn’t be signed by a JP.  I enquired whether the documentation I needed signed was going to be a document that couldn’t be signed and was told to come back today and discuss it with the JP then.

Stuck in a meeting until just before my scheduled appointment, I ended up sprinting several hundred metres from the building containing the meeting to the building with my office (to get the documents) and then to the building with the JP.  As I arrived out of breath but on-time and bearing the documentation I noticed the same woman was on the front desk so advised her I had a JP appointment because I knew she’d have to go get the JP.

She stood up, partly turned (in what I thought was a move to get the JP) then turned back and reached for the documentation.  As she began to study it, I realised she was the JP.  I didn’t have the energy to make a snide comment (hey, I’m not fit, I was still out of breath!) but as she looked at the documents I again stated their purpose as being outside Australia and that I was not certain whether these were acceptable documents or not.

As soon as she heard that they were for outside Australia, she handed them back to me and advised me she couldn’t certify them.

I thanked her for the time she had taken on Friday to not give me the answer then.  I thanked her for making me run a significant distance to meet her schedule.  I thanked her for being so efficient as to allow me to book a timeslot, denying others the chance to get documents certified.  I thanked her for turning the whole experience into one of frustration and anger, and I thanked her for wasting my time.

And she had the audacity to look surprised at the depth of my appreciation for her customer service…

Categories: SPOTD
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I found the mother lode at Portelli Tile Centre on Cooper Street, Epping. The SPOTD that let this happen ought to be taken out the back and drowned in a laundry trought [sic]…

Click the thumbnail for the full horror!

Categories: SPOTD
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Yet another stellar example of public transport customer service…

Four inspectors were travelling on the tram to the city this morning.  They’re regulars on the tram but never check tickets because they seem to work on another line and don’t start work until they have to so our tram is just their transportation.  They don’t usually sit down because they’re employees and seats should go to paying passengers.

Today though, two of them avoided sitting down by standing in the doorway which made it hard to get in and out.  The doorway is split in two with access either side of a rail.  One inspector leaned against the doorway with the hand on the rail so people boarding the tram were forced to crouch down under his arm because it was at head-height.

The other inspector slouched in such a way that people boarding or alighting on his side of the handrail had to press up against him.  The way he was slouching meant passengers were basically forced to rub against his crotch if they didn’t want to play “oranges and lemons” and crouch down to get under the arm of the other inspector.

A joint SPOTD award to those valued representatives of Yarra Trams…

Categories: SPOTD
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Today’s journey to work could best be described as shambolic, thanks to the ever-useless folks at Yarra Trams.

First the tram took 12 minutes to arrive at a time when they’re supposed to be coming at a frequency of every 4 minutes.  Did I mention it was raining and windy?  Lovely weather to wait for a tram in…

Then, a quarter of the way to work, the tram driver suddenly announced the tram was ‘defective’ and turfed everyone out into the cold and rain again so she could take the tram back to the depot.  With more than 50 people on the tram at the time, we all had to cram into the tram behind (which already was quite full) so it got to the point of being jam-packed beyond comfortable levels.  When the tram arrived at my stop, I simply looked at the packed throng and decided I couldn’t get off so had to travel another two tram stops down the line before I could disembark.

And, of course, the thing that makes me give the driver the SPOTD award (and not just the Yarra Trams sucks award) is that the tram we were ejected from did not appear to be defective.  The brakes, heater, doors, ticket machines, and validators all worked.  There was no fresh vomit or urine which might require removal from service for immediate cleaning.  Nothing.  It seemed rather like the driver simply needed to go to the bathroom and dumped everyone into the street as a result.

Yarra Trams did not respond to my feedback.  I guess that pretty much sums it up.

Categories: SPOTD
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At a workshop today, down in the city, I was standing beside the Spencer St bridge over the Yarra River. A bald man strode northward across the bridge until he reached the midpoint, whereupon he unzipped and urinated off the bridge into the river. At the end of the task, he simply rezipped and then continued across the bridge as casually as though he had simply stopped momentarily to admire the view.

People walking past in both directions were a little startled, as was I. Fortunately none of the regular tourist vessels were passing underneath or they would have been diving for cover…

Categories: SPOTD
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