Still in Tanzania, we managed to end up (against our wishes) trapped for six hours in a 4WD vehicle exploring the Ngorongoro Crater with Zoe (yesterday’s SPOTD) and three girls we referred to as “The Awesomes”. It was a hellish experience, primarily due to the fact that they were incredibly immature 22yo girls who:

1. had developed a vocabulary based on Paris Hilton so everything was either “awesome” or “hot”, and
2. thought the Lion King was a documentary.

Every rock we saw must, of course, be Pride Rock. Every male lion was Simba. Every female lion was Nala. Every time we saw a warthog all three of them would identify it as Pumba. There were also 15 hyenas in the crater. This was a fact burned into my brain because EACH AND EVERY TIME we saw a hyena the following “Lion King” dialogue took place…

Awesome 1: Awesome! A hyena!

Awesome 2: Mufasa!

Awesome 1 & 3: Oooooh! Do it again!

Awesome 2: Mufasa!

Awesome 1 & 3: Oooooh!

Awesome 2: Mufasa! Mufasa! Mufasa!

Awesome 1, 2, and 3: *hysterical laughter*

Repeat fifteen times…

We knew we were in trouble when we began the descent into the crater with Zoe and the Awesomes all merrily screaming out cheerleader chants from the “Bring It On” movie which they knew word perfect. Di and I slumped a little lower in the seat as the driver of the vehicle looked incredulously at the idiots we were riding with.

During the game drive the driver mentioned we were going to stop for a meal break beside a lake containing hippos (because Zoe was carping about wanting to see a hippo out of the water). One of the Awesomes asked if there would be a chance to go for a swim because it was so hot (thermal reference, not Paris Hilton reference, for a change!). The driver chuckled and promised she could go for a swim. He explained that hippos were one of the most dangerous animals in Africa but only if you got between them and the water because they would crush anything in their path to get to the water. Since they would be in the water already, they would obviously not be dangerous.

Di and I chuckled along with his amusing joke, but shook our heads in disbelief with the driver as we all realised the Awesomes and Zoe now had plans to go swimming because they were discussing where to get changed and whether there would be toilet cubicles nearby for modesty when changing. The driver, realising he would be legally liable for telling people to swim with hippos, quickly had to explain he was only joking and they could not swim after all. The disappointment was palpable in the air for quite some time and we got the impression were it not for the crocodiles in the lake they might have tried their luck with the hippo swim anyway.

Categories: Travel, SPOTD, Africa 2007