Today I was running a bit late for a meeting across campus so was walking at my top speed between buildings (conveniently located at opposite diagonal corners of the campus). Those who have seen me walking at “normal” speed can probably imagine the pace I was setting - to keep up most people would have to break into a jog.

Whilst heading toward one building I noted two people loitering near the path I was going to take. They seemed to be talking to one another and there was nobody else around for 40 metres in any direction. As I approached they glanced up at me, as would be expected, since there were no other people to look at and - let’s face it - I’m eye candy…*grin*

As I approached one of the pair broke off the conversation and stepped into the path. She was a few metres in front of me but I was covering the ground quickly and was going to now bump into her if she remained where she was standing. She began to ask me if I wanted to donate to something - some sort of charity I am assuming since I didn’t slow down long enough to hear the end of the sentence. I growled back at her to get out of my way and only then did it seem to occur to her that she had stepped in front of a person moving at high speed and with little apparent inclination to veer from the intended path.

I was literally about to crash into her when she lurched to the side to avoid being run over and as I passed her by she made a comment to the effect that she could see I was in a hurry. If only she, like so many people in this world, realised that a bit earlier she’d have avoided becoming my SPOTD.

Categories: SPOTD
1 Comment »

Tonight I was following a learner driver down a street which intersects with my street when they drove left into a side street.  At least, I thought that was what they were going to do.  They then pulled hard right and stopped perpendicular across the road blocking my path entirely and forcing me to come to an unexpected stop.  It turns out that she was doing a U-turn and didn’t seem to consider there was a car following her.

I didn’t have to lock on the brakes because I’d given them enough room but I still didn’t expect the need to brake in order to avoid a collision with the side of their car.  I threw up my arms at them in an exasperated sign to communicate “what the hell were you thinking?”.  The window of the driver’s door was down and my SPOTD - the father of the learner driver - leaned across to yell at me.

SPOTD: Give her a break!  She’s a learner driver!

Me: Well, under your guidance she’s just made an unsignalled left turn into a side street then crossed a solid line at an intersection to make an unsignalled right turn across another solid line within ten metres of another intersection.  Which, by the way, is a friggin’ roundabout and she could have just gone around it to do the U-turn and then not blocked my path you nit!  Perhaps if you learned how to drive first you moron she’d have a friggin’ chance of learning how to drive herself!  Get out of the f***ing way!

Grr.  Yes, I am a much calmer driver than I used to be but I still get riled up over bad driving, especially when it’s in my neighbourhood.  And before you jump down my throat on this one please note that it’s not the driver I consider to be my SPOTD - it’s the person in the passenger seat supposedly teaching her good road practice.

Categories: SPOTD
No Comments »

Today’s SPOTD is brought to you by the letters “O” and “W” today.  I was down the street today and had parked the car and noticed a couple of teenagers on the other side of the road, one videotaping the other doing tricks when rollerblading.  They had come across a section of the footpath under repair and fenced off with temporary barriers about 1m tall.  The iron barriers clipped together like small gates and the whole lot was surrounded with yellow “danger” tape.  The area under repair was about 2.5m long by 1.5m wide so one figured that they could roll up to the area, leap the first barrier, land in the repaired area then immediately leap the second barrier and be back on the footpath again.  It seemed like such a good idea.

On his first attempt the guy leaped the first barrier and almost leaped the second barrier.  Right at the last second his right rollerblade caught under the top rung of the barrier and he landed awkwardly on one foot, wobbling crazily until he crashed into the bus shelter a few metres further down the footpath and wound up flat on his back.

On his second attempt he leaped the first barrier and again almost cleared the second barrier.  This time both feet caught under the top rung and he comically hung in mid-air with a startled look on his face until his body realised it was hooked and gravity kicked in.  The first thing to break his fall was his face crunching into the footpath and the rest of his body made it worse by basically falling in the same precise spot so he ended up in a ball before sprawling onto his back in pain.

And then … and here’s what makes him my SPOTD.  He tried again.

This time he managed to clip the first barrier with wheels on his left roller blade.  This brought the barrier crashing to the ground.  However, he still had momentum so he landed on his right foot and tried in vain to leap the second barrier since he could not stop. Launching from one foot was not enough though and he slammed shin first into the top of the second barrier which, since the first barrier was no longer standing and providing stability to the structure, caused the entire barrier to collapse on the ground right where he was about to fall.  This time instead of landing on his face he hit the ground landing on his side but sprawled across three metal bars now horizontal on the footpath.

He didn’t stand up so quickly after that and I could see he had pretty much run out of enthusiasm for the concept of leaping these barriers.  Nonetheless, the other guy convinced him to go again but unfortunately I had to leave at the time.  The last I saw of him was preparing to leap the barriers a fourth time as his mate set them up again.  Whether he eventually pulled off the stunt or not I am not sure.  I’m pretty confident that he will be sporting some terrific bruises tonight and the videotape is surely comedy gold.

Categories: SPOTD
No Comments »

I received an email newsletter from an online shopping website today. That’s fine, I was expecting it since I subscribed. The thing that made me think “here’s my SPOTD” was the special deal which took pride of place at the top of the newsletter. I really don’t think that their mathematics skills are up to speed. It’s not such a good deal as they might believe…

So let me check again - what is $39.95 - $20.00? Bah. SPOTDs.

Categories: SPOTD
No Comments »

My local Safeway supermarket has changed the trolleys it offers customers several times over the past 3-4 years. Not only has the size of the trolleys changed (they’re now much larger than they used to be) but they’ve also oscillated on the decision as to whether trolleys have a coin return system or not.

However, when they’ve made these changes it has not been a universal change each time. Instead, the SPOTDs at Safeway have made only some of the trolleys new whilst keeping some of the old ones as well. This means the trolley area inside the store (and subsequently the carpark) tends to be littered with trolleys all over the place because people can’t return them to the trolley-return bays they’ve installed in the carpark. Small ones fit inside large ones but the reverse is not true so as soon as someone puts a small trolley into the trolley-return bay nobody else can return a large trolley. Additionally, when the slacker trolley-fetching staff go into the carpark to get the trolleys they leave the small ones in the trolley-return bays because they need to build a “caterpillar” convoy of trolleys to take back to the store and the small ones are incompatible with the large ones. The next customer then tries to put their trolley in the near-empty trolley bay but can’t because there’s a small trolley in it courtesy of the Safeway staff.

Obviously some SPOTD in Safeway noticed that their trolley bays often had one or two trolleys in them with other trolleys scattered around the carpark (usually on the islands of garden between parking bays) and decided it was the customer not bothering to return their trolley that was the problem. Ergo, we now have a system where you need to insert a coin into the trolley to release it from the group and that coin is refunded when you return it to the group of trolleys in the store or in the carpark. They’ve trialled this system before and it failed because about one-third of the trolleys required no coin deposit and therefore didn’t have the coin-ejection mechanism needed for the next trolley to be added to the group.

I found an empty trolley bay after doing my grocery shopping yesterday and pushed the trolley into it. As I picked up the coin-ejection mechanism built into the trolley-return bay (there needs to be one there for the first trolley since there are no other trolleys present to eject the coin) I realised that the SPOTDs had escalated the frustration. Since they’re now using larger trolleys, the chain on the coin ejection mechanism is too short by the barest of margins. The only way to return the trolley (if you’re the first one) is to turn the trolley around backward and get the coin out. The problem with that is that then it renders the rest of the trolley-return bay useless because the first one is facing the wrong way so the second one cannot get its coin ejected upon return.

And that, my dear friends at Safeway who are hopefully reading this, is why you probably found a trolley in the parking return bay that had the chain on the coin-ejection mechanism threaded several times through the wire mesh of the trolley and looped around the handle thrice before locking into place. I intend to become more creative over time if possible until the chain is lengthened…

Categories: SPOTD
2 Comments »

Tonight’s journey on the tram ride home was a pleasant one due to it being my last day of work with my department. I’m not retiring just yet - I am going on secondment to another department for a year. Anyway, I passed the time on the ride home by playing Solitaire on my PocketPC because, well, I’d no work to do. Hurrah!

About 20 minutes into the journey I was suddenly interrupted by a fellow sitting nearby speaking to me.

SPOTD: You’re really into that game. You’re really absorbed, aren’t you?

I did consider proving him right by ignoring him and pretending to be more absorbed in the game than I actually was but I was in a good mood so decided to humour him. After a few observations by him that computers were changing the world (thank you for that piece of insight, Mr Few Decades Too Late) he moved onto the topic of how he was going to see his ex. Evidently she had given him the sum total of one minute of her time yet his plan was to stay there for most of the evening so he explained he had to do some fast-talking so she’d let him stay. His biggest concern was that he could smell fish somewhere and he was worried it was him.

SPOTD: Can you smell fish? I can smell it.

Me: We’ve just gone past a fish shop. Could it be that?

SPOTD: Nah, it seems to have been here for a while. It might be my bag. Perhaps it’s me? Do I smell like fish to you?

As I looked at this fellow who was tidily dressed but very bedraggled in the hair department and looking like he’d needed a shave for the past three years, I decided that I really was not that interested in smelling him. I quickly replied that I had no sense of smell so I was not the best person to ask and fortunately his stop arrived within half a minute before I had to stave off another request.

So much for the theory that not making eye contact with people makes you safer from SPOTDs on public transport…

Categories: SPOTD
No Comments »