Two middle-aged women travelling home on the tram tonight. From their conversation I discovered they worked together in some form of casual employment and that seemed to be the only reason one was talking to the other. One of the women was a brainless twit and the other woman did particularly well to restrain herself from punching the SPOTD in the face several times. I know I was tempted and I was only the eavesdropper… I was not initially taking much notice of the two women until my brain registered the comment “Is your brain turned on today?” for the second time then I quickly grabbed my PDA and started taking notes. The conversation drifted across several topics and rather than give the dull bits in between I’ll just provide the highlights.

On the topic of how far away Perth is (SPOTD’s boyfriend lives in Perth):

Woman 1: Perth is a lovely city. I’ve been there twice.
SPOTD: Oh, is it expensive to go there?

Woman 1: About $600

SPOTD: What?!? Why so much?

Woman 1: Well, you do have to cross the Nullabor.

SPOTD: The what? Whassat?

Woman 1: The Nullabor. You know, the desert.

SPOTD: Desert? What’s a desert? (pause) Oh. Wait. (another pause) What’s a desert?

Woman 1: Seriously?

SPOTD: Is it far?

Woman 1: Yes.

SPOTD: So, it’s a long way then?

Woman 1: Yes. It takes five days to drive there.

SPOTD: Sounds pretty far then.

Woman 1: Uh, yes.

And no, I do not know why the SPOTD has a boyfriend of two years in Perth but has no concept of how far it is nor the airfare price.

On the topic of holidays (the second time it came up in the conversation within five minutes):

SPOTD: So, are you going anywhere on holidays?

Woman 1: Cairns. I told you that five minutes ago.

SPOTD: Oh.

Woman 1: I told you. You weren’t listening to any of it, were you?

SPOTD: I was thinking about the Nullabor.

Woman 1: I hadn’t told you about the Nullabor at that stage.

SPOTD: Oh. Yeah.

Woman 1: Is your brain turned on today?

On the topic of family:

SPOTD: Does your son help much?

Woman 1: Yes, he lives with me.

SPOTD: Oh, that’s nice. So he, like, helps around the house?

Woman 1: Yes. He’s really helpful. He took the clothes off the line for me tonight.

SPOTD: Oh - so does he visit you much?

Woman 1: He … lives … with … me. I just told you that. You weren’t listening again, were you?

SPOTD: Um, nah. I was just, um …

Woman 1: You’ve not listened to anything today. Is your brain turned on?

SPOTD: Yeah!

(2 minutes later)

Woman 1: My son usually drives me to work. This is the first day I’ve taken the tram. I usually get driven - so much nicer.

SPOTD: Does he live far away from you?

Woman 1: He … lives … with … me.

SPOTD: Oh yeah.

On and on this conversation spiralled until finally Woman 1 escaped into the distance. Whether it was actually her stop or not is a matter for debate - she was clearly reaching her threshold with the SPOTD so she may just have gotten off and waited for the next tram.

Categories: SPOTD