On the way home tonight I went to pull the cord for the tram driver to stop at my designated stop so I could get off the tram. Just before I touched the cord, a family of four pulled the cord since they were also getting off at the same stop. Fair enough, the driver has now been alerted as evidenced by the light turning on and the “next stop” tone playing. Neither of which was particularly useful in the long run as we sailed past the stop and kept going through another stop without pausing.

It was easier to go to the end of the line and come back than it was to walk back all the distance we’d covered by that stage so I sat back down as did the family and we waited. At the end of the line the SPOTD driver came out of the cabin and walked to the other end of the tram so he could return along the line from whence we came. As he approached the following conversation took place.

SPOTD: This is the last stop.

Me: Is there something wrong with the tram?

SPOTD: No, it’s the last stop.

Me: I realise it’s the last stop. Are the brakes working?

SPOTD: Uh, yes. Why?

Me: Because the five of us wanted to get off the damn tram two stops ago, you cretin! The cord was pushed, the signal was received, and apparently you’re too stupid to comprehend that means you’re required to halt the vehicle so people can get off.

SPOTD: I didn’t hear any tone! You mustn’t have pulled the cord properly.

Me: Let me explain this very simply to you because I can see you are a simple man. There’s no “wrong” way to pull a cord. You pull the cord and the light comes on and the tone sounds. That’s it. Nothing complex about it. Like your job, for example. You drive a tram on rails so there’s no turning involved. You only have to do a couple of things - stop to pick people up when they’re at the stop and drop them off when they want to be dropped off. If you can’t do those simple things perhaps you’re too simple for the job?

SPOTD: Well, I didn’t hear anything! (says the driver now subtly removing the Walkman headphone from his right ear)

Gee, I wonder why he didn’t hear anything…

Categories: SPOTD