In one of those “Dear Penthouse” letter-to-the-editor moments, my friend Matt and I happened upon a young lass at the University who was willing to sell her body. It’s not what you think though - she was only wanting to sell it piece by piece, it seems. Intrigued? We were.

Matt and I were quietly having a conversation on campus when a young lass wandered slowly past in a manner that clearly suggested she was lost. She came to a complete stop near us and looked around in confusion, trying to decide which direction she was supposed to head in. This is not particularly unusual at the beginning of the academic year with all the first-year students arriving and trying to understand the campus geography. I figured she’d ask us for assistance in about 5-10 seconds so continued the conversation a little longer. Matt, evidently being the more gallant (and foolish) of the two of us, decided to offer assistance before she asked for our help. It’s clear to see he does not have strong Stupid Person Attracting Properties like I and therefore is oblivious to the concept that total strangers can be odd.

The girl, her Irish brogue suggesting backpacker status, told us she was trying to find the library to find some medical research. Given there’s an entire medical library on campus it seemed the logical conclusion to send her there. However, this is currently a bit muddied due to the temporary closure of the library. Going to the main library on campuse is the solution since they can organise for book loans from the medical library during its closure. This was all explained to her and she still looked a bit confused about where she wanted to go.

Matt, keen to assist any young person with an interest in the sciences, asked her what sort of medical research she was interested in - genetics, physiology, etc - and she replied that she didn’t really care. Indeed, given her initial comments were specific, her use of the phrase “whatever” seemed unusual. It turned out that she was not interested at all in locating books or journal articles to assist in researching some issue. She was instead interested in finding a department within the Medicine Faculty that might pay her to participate in medical trials. Aha. Backpacker status confirmed.

A friend of hers back in Ireland, she told us, had been paid the equivalent of $25,000AUD to have his big toe cut off and reattached by students training to be surgeons. It was clear she was willing to do the same in order to get a large injection of cash into her bank account. Now, for $25,000 I might let someone trial a drug on me. But let’s be clear - I’d need to be within a few weeks of dying of an illness that the drug might cure. I wouldn’t just be wandering around thinking “hey, I wonder whether someone would pay me today to snip off a portion of my body and re-attach it”. I’m a little concerned that such people exist, though as a work colleague later commented - she *was* Irish and therefore probably viewing the payment as $25,000 worth of alcohol…

And so it was that, with all the lost young people on campus at the time, and despite the odds of having a conversation in a precise time and location, I inadvertently became involved with a conversation about snipping off appendages for money. Anyone willing to pop pills or lop limbs for cash is strange enough for me to give them the SPOTD award.

Categories: SPOTD