Originally posted from Hong Kong as a single page, this update was split into multiple parts (see related articles) for the sake of reducing the loading time due to the images involved…

Went to the night market in Temple St last night and bought myself a new pair of sunglasses since I broke my other ones in Paris (not tackling the hat thief - just squashed them accidentally). Kind of fun to barter for them, and they cost $16AUD in the end.

Going to a goldfish market this arvo - might buy my brother a souvenir. I am sure he would love a dead goldfish. We will try to get it through the rest of the trip alive by storing it in water in a zip lock bag, but you never know what will happen. Hey, it might be a snack yet - it seems there are worse things on the menu here…

First phrase in the food section of the Lonely Planet guidebook is the translation for “I don’t eat dog”….

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Originally posted from Hong Kong as a single page, this update was split into multiple parts (see related articles) for the sake of reducing the loading time due to the images involved…

First time through the security in airports following the September 11th terrorist actions in New York. Certainly has changed! We watched one guy walk through the X-ray machine, removing various layers of clothing before he finally got through on his 11th attempt without setting the metal detectors off.
We had heard that Cathay Pacific was a nicer airline than average to fly on, and after going on Qantas, American, Iberian and British Airways, it certainly was a good flight. Little TV screens in each seat back, even in the economy class. We even got first class food from one of the flight attendants when we got to chatting - pretty good tucker up front of the plane!

One strange fellow was a guy who, about 6 hours into the flight, came up and asked us if we had a lighter. We told him we did not and reminded him that he was not allowed to smoke on board. He said he was not intending to - he just had to “burn something”. We got a little concerned at that point and went to inform the staff - nothing like a guy wanting to burn something on a plane, is there!??!

Turns out he had had a little too much cognac to drink and he wanted to melt some wires of his laptop together since he was trying to repair it… Oh, but of course! Anyway, he was convinced by the staff to wait until he got back down to the ground before lighting a flame…

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It finally happened - some stupid mongrel tried to steal my hat right off my head. Those guys carrying machine guns are never around when you need them…

Was just getting some dinner from a street cafe when a guy grabbed my hat after a few comments about me being Australian. I asked for it back and he did not hand it over. I took a step toward him and he took one back. I took another step and he took another back. Decided to just sprint a couple of metres at him, but he was a little quicker and took off down the street.

I took off after him and ran him down in about 3/4 of a block but then I did not quite know what to do. Tried to just grab the hat but it was held in front of him so I had to quickly think about that dreaded game of AFL football and the best way to tackle someone. After a few seconds (seemed like much longer at the time), I went for the “late tackle” method I used to employ in friendly games of soccer at high school. With the exception that instead of falling on my side and dragging him to his side, I just threw him so he was under me since I did not want to land on cobblestones…

Crashed to the ground and I thought that would be it, but when I got up and grabbed my hat, he was getting up as well. The hat was fine, so I put it back on my head, expressed a few nasty feelings toward him and departed.

Only made it about 10 metres when I heard him right behind me again, clearly going for the hat once more. I turned around just as I estimated he was close enough and stuck both arms in front of me with fists clenched. For the record; this is NOT a good defense tactic, since it bloody near ripped my arms off with the impact…

Stopped him though, and I grabbed him by the shoulder and threw him out into the street. Was not intending to do so but he fell off the gutter and went backward on the ground just - of course - as four police officers came around the corner and saw me do that. Two grabbed me and two grabbed the other guy since they did not really know what was happening but wanted it to stop quickly…

Luckily for me, since they spoke hardly any English, a guy who saw me tackle the thief came to my aid and translated for me. He also was my witness and I have no idea what he said, but it clearly was favourable, since the police let me go with a warning not to do it again, and the other guy got told off as well, but no charges laid.

Pity. It means he has not gotten in trouble with the law now, but hopefully he won’t be targetting the Aussie tourists for a while - probably thinks we really are a nation of Crocodile Dundee’s now…*grin*

I was trying to explain my innocence to the police afterward but the guy who was my witness/translator advised me to just depart quickly before they changed their minds, so I did. Got back to the hotel room and Di asked where I’d been and whether getting dinner had been a challenge…

Why do they always find me???

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We believe there is something weird about to happen since there are army soldiers on the streets with machine guns and they were not around a few days ago. Nobody else seems overly peturbed but it does seem a little odd to us.

They are only hanging around major monuments like the Eiffel Tower and Arc de Triomphe as though expecting some sort of attack on symbolic things. Maybe we are just being paranoid - the only nezs in English we can get is CNN in the hotel room and since they are only reporting on the “War On Terror”, it’s a bit hard to find out real news. Not that the US response is not real news, but it would be nice to hear what else is happening in the world other than which countries are being scared and forced into supporting Bush’s War.

In other happenings, I have decided the French keyboards are demented. Most things are in the right place but the A, Q, W, Z, and M are all in the wrong spots. The row of numbers over the top is only accessible with the Shift Key. You even need the Shift Key to put a full stop - the semi-colon gets more use here apparently!

We are not sure if this is a French thing or an EasyEverything Internet Cafe thing to make you spend more money because it takes longer to type. Either way, it is annoying that I have to use the net with this keyboard since the WWW is in the wrong spot! The @ symbol is with the zero numeral, and of course, MooQuack uses a lot of shifted letters and my email address is : trqvis2,ooauqck:co, : according to my touch typing…

Off to Hong Kong tomorrow after Versailles today. The Aussie dollar has gotten to the point where we now need to cut short the travels and go home earlier than desired, but we have gotten to the point also where we *want* to go home. As dumb as it sounds, you *CAN* be on holiday too long…

Combined with the recent world events, it would be best to be back in the global backwaters of Australia where nobody would waste their bombs. Hopefully…

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Bonjour! Here we are in the land of “Fwonce”, after taking the ferry from the white cliffs of Dover to Calais, and then the train to Paris. Weird train carriages - front half would be a smoking section but back half of same carriage would be non smoking! We found a carriage with no smoking at either end, fortunately…

Been to the Eiffel Tower and decided to spend less and go up by steps to the 2nd level instead of taking the lift. To take lift would have meant a long wait anyway whereas steps line was quite short. Good view from the top and not a really strenuous climb compared to Statue of Liberty in NY.

Checked out the Arc de Triomphe from the ground level - why pay to go up when you’ve been up the Eiffel Tower?

Went to the Louvre today and saw the Mona Lisa - quite a nice frame around it, I thought, and nowhere near the lines we had been warned about. We just walked straight up to it, same as Venus de Milo (aka “Chick With No Arms Therefore Cannot Hold Up Her Clothes”). Other items in Louvre far more interesting, we felt, especially the underground castle remains that the palace which became the Louvre is sited on.

Saw lots of pictures and sculptures of naked people - seems people throughout history have had problems keeping their clothes on, if the artworks were aything to go by. Either that or “great artists” were just perverts…

Found a flea market where people were selling what seemed to be stolen goods - you have to wonder when a person walks up to you and offers you one gold ring and a mobile phone reeeeally cheap…

Hotels in Paris seem to charge extra for a shower and this is a bad thing since we have smelled much more body odour here than anywhere else (even in really hot coutries!). Seems showering is not a common thing for Parisians which is, er, interesting when all crammed into a train.

We are in a hotel on rue St Denis in the heart of the city. The “Let’s Go” book specifically says to avoid it but does not say why. We know why - there are many sex shops and prostitutes at one end, but lots of restaurants at the other end, so we would have to go there for dinner anyway. Perhaps those with families might wish to avoid it, but not scary to us.

Going to Hong Kong on 26th which should be interesting. Until now, we have usually been able to guess text when in Portugese, Italian, Spanish, and French because pretty similar to English in many cases. Going to Hong Kong will be the first test of our linguistic skills in Asia and a little daunting. However, mime bridges all languages and dancing like a chicken keeps us fit…

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Originally posted from London as a single page, this update was split into multiple parts (see related articles) for the sake of reducing the loading time due to the images involved…

On the music scene, Kylie Minogue has released another song here that is doing well in the charts and is appropriately called “Can’t Get You Out Of My Head” because, well, it’s in my bloody head and I can’t get it out. Grr! It does seem to be doing well though, mainly because, and I make no apologies to my UK friends here, the UK music scene (as perceived through our fortnight’s listening on BBC Radio One and the commercial channels) is manure. It’s a mixture of angry noise and talentless hacks attempting to be gainfully employed in the music industry and, sadly, they get airplay. Then again, Destiny’s Child is getting airplay here as well, and they are definitely the ultimate talentless hacks, so perhaps it is just modern music that is bad? Perhaps we’re just getting old and cranky and perceive new music the way our parents do (ie: angry noise)?….*grin*

Off to France tomorrow to dine on frog legs. Well, okay, probably not. I did tuck into snails while in Spain and they were not too bad, to be honest. Frog legs though - not too sure yet. Doubt they will be within the budget of the traveller anyway. One delightfully amusing expense that seems to have just reared it’s head is the fact that my electric shaver has decided to die a mere 10 years after the warranty expired. What sort of deal is that? Sheesh. You’d think it was was old or something…

Now we have to play the fun and games of buying a new one with the appropriate cord since we’re in a foreign land with different shaped power plugs…*sigh* Naturally, the most irritating thing is that I’ve finally gotten used to being clean-shaven after a few years of failed attempts at growing facial hair, so now, just when I can grow it all I want, it irritates me. I blame it all on Diana of course, since, well, I have to blame someone, don’t I?….*grin*

Oh, by the way, the guards at Buckingham Palace are big wimps. We went there today to see the Changing Of The Guard, and there was a light drizzle in the air. More of a fog than a drizzle, since none of us had the hoods of our jackets on, but what did the Beefeaters do? Stayed indoors and didn’t come out to get wet. It’s apparently cancelled in the event of “very bad weather” but really, what we saw today was “English Standard Weather”. So we saw a lot of tourists like us staring at one another, wondering why, if we could all be out there, the Beefeaters could not. In short, dear Queen Lizzie, if you are reading this, get out there with a stick and make ‘em do the ceremony every day so us poor tourists don’t miss out.

Until next time, viva le deep fried pizza!

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Originally posted from London as a single page, this update was split into multiple parts (see related articles) for the sake of reducing the loading time due to the images involved…

Currently in Londontown, and specifically, Camberwell - home of Lian - a friend of mine through a mailing list online. We’ve been doing the tourist thing, except with the benefit of a guide around the city and we’ve seen a lot of the stuff we wanted to. In fact, probably way more than we ever would have otherwise, which has been great. There were a few concerns as to whether we were going to meet up or not, given she was in the USA at the time of last week’s attacks, but we stalled our arrival to London and all worked out in the end.

Speaking of last week’s attacks, it was a very surreal experience to hear it all beaming live through the BBC radio in the car. We had just been flicking between stations and there was a very confused presenter saying “um, it seems that a plane has just gone into the World Trade Centre” and then, of course, the whole drama unfolded over the next couple of hours.

In a weird way though, it was at least good for us that we were in an English speaking country and had the benefit of the radio since if it had happened while we were in Spain, we’d have been oblivious to the whole thing. Not that being unaware would have made the attacks any less tragic, but we could at least comprehend what everyone in the street was talking about.

In other airline news, we also found out through the websites of the newspapers back home that Ansett had collapsed. For the benefit of those non-Aussies on the list, Ansett was the second biggest airline in Australia. When we bought the tickets, we could have bought either through the OneWorld Alliance, of which Qantas is a member airline, or through the Star Alliance, of which Ansett is a member airline. Luckily for us, we did not choose the latter, or else we’d be having all manner of fun and games getting home right about now…

Onto less morale-sucking topics, we’ve been around a lot of the UK in the car, clocking up just over 2600 miles in the short time we’ve been here. Since the last update, we went all the way past Loch Ness to Inverness (alas, no monster sightings), and then swung back down the other coast, into Wales where we explored a castle in the pouring rain, and tented in the freezing cold. We went to the town in Wales with the longest town name in the world (abbreviated to Llanfair PG in the atlas) and then back into England, down to the Land’s End area where we checked out pretty impressive prehistoric monuments. We highly recommend going to Lanyon’s Quoit and Men-an-tol which are both free to the public and easily accessible. The latter involved a walk of about 1600m round trip but this was offset by the fact that there were blackberry bushes everywhere and we gorged ourselves on the ripe fruit. Yum! Also recommend going to Chysauster which is the ruins of a 4000 year old Cornish village on a steep mountain. You need a site guidebook though, or else it makes no sense, and even though they are for sale, if you ask nicely, you might be able to get a loan of one for free.

From there to Stonehenge, which was actually much larger than what we thought it would be. Both of us had read countless tales of how people went there and it was really small, and the guidebooks we had were backing up those claims also. When we got there though, and handed over our money, it was really quite interesting to listen to the audio tour (well, except for the bit where they got a little theatrical and had shepherds telling tales) and to look over the site. One thing that seems a little stupid is that the English Heritage group (who run the site) are trying to install a tunnel so that the roads can be removed and people can see it as the ancient people who built it saw it. This seems rather wrong to us, since it is very close to the road at the moment and those that cannot afford the entry fee (£3.90/£3.20 adult/student) can at least drive past and see it from pretty close. By building a tunnel, that opportunity is removed and another historical monument is removed from the public free glimpse, like so much of the rest of the UK.

Ranting about the state of the ruins and what the English Heritage group is doing to them aside, it’s been really quite interesting in the last couple of weeks, checking out what the convicts left behind when they were sent to Australia from England. Really reinforces the view that they got the better deal since the weather here is bloody miserable, and the food is horribly lard-soaked. Highlight of the culinary offerings so far has to be the deep-fried half pizza. Basically, get a pizza (a pretty oily sort of food anyway) and cut it in half. Drop one half into batter and then into hot oil for a few moments until you have a lovely greasy oily battered deep-fried pizza. A mere £1.50 with a servings of greasy deep-fried chips thrown in as well. Not willing to try it, we can only boggle at the mind that dreamed this evil meal up…

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Another entry from our neighbours, again involving a flash car, but the damage this time was more likely to be caused by me than by themselves.

Under our block of flats, we have off-street parking, with one parking bay per flat. Since our neighbours in #4 don’t have a car, we asked them not long after we moved in five years ago if it would be alright to use their parking bay as well. This made things a lot easier since the turn to get into the park is quite difficult due to a garden bed that juts out. Since I don’t have power steering in the Rocket, being able to use both parks is practically a necessity. However, it has led to problems in the past with other residents wanting to take the park from us without asking.

One other person that did not get written up into a full SPOTD had been knew I parked occupying both parks, yet decided we did not need them both and parked their car in #4. Not just parked it there, but with the intention to store it there, since it was an old Triumph, complete with car cover and everything. When I asked them to shift it, they replied that they thought it was not being used so it would be okay. This from someone that had seen me parked there ever since they arrived three and a half YEARS ago. But I digress. There is another SPOTD on this occasion.

It seems that the people in #6 have very nice incomes since they have the very latest cars all the time. You might recall one of them winning a SPOTD award for getting his expensive car stuck in the driveway, but it would appear he’s now sold that car and gotten another one. Not quite as low, but still with all the frivolous rear-spoiler type attachments hoons stick on their cars.

Unfortunately, this leads to a problem for them. With new cars, they want to park them off the street. With three cars in the household, and only one parking bay allocated to them, there’s always going to be trouble. Initially they put one car in #6 and one in #5, with one parked on the road. After a while, they decided that we didn’t really need two parks and began to use #4 or #3 or in front of #7 - completely trapping those residents.

Since they’d kept to themselves since arrival, we were forced to introduce ourselves as the people who wanted them to shift their car so we could have our parking bays. I explained to them the fact that we had a deal with the people in #4 where we compensated them for the use of their park (which we do), and they apologised, and moved their cars into the street.

However, since that original time, we have had to get them to shift cars out of our park on no less than nine separate occasions. The excuse is always something pathetic along the lines of “well, I wasn’t going to be long”" or “sorry, we have visitors and they didn’t know not to park there”. As an aside, we live in a dead-end street, with no through traffic to damage cars, and what sort of visitor pulls into the driveway of their friend, sees there are marked parking bays and then puts their car in one designated for another tenant?

Which brings me to the reason they won the SPOTD on this occasion. Usually I just mutter quietly to myself and don’t bother writing them up as SPOTD reports, but on this occasion, they went a step further. Di and I went out to have lunch in the park for a change, and when we returned, pulled down the drive and went to put the car into our space. There, parked down the centre line of both parking bays was a new car we’d not seen before, though we knew instantly who it would belong to. Black, shiny, new and hotted up, it could only belong to a friend of our neighbours, and once again we’d have to go through the ritual of “please move your car” followed by “sorry, our visitors did not know not to park there”.

We reversed back down the drive to the street, parked the car and went upstairs to see them. As luck had it, one of them was coming down the stairs at the time, so I stopped him and said “look, I’m getting a bit sick of this, can you please shift your car from our parking bay?”. He looked blank for a moment, then asked what car it was, and when I described it, sure enough, it was a visitor who apparently was there for the first time and since he obviously didn’t know where to park (ie: the street), he’d just parked in our spot.

Bear in mind for a second, this person had never been there before, yet chose to park in the middle of the parking bays for #3 and #4, and would have had to assume that both households owned vehicles that could be home at any time. Instead of just parking in one parking bay, he doubled the odds that someone was going to be inconvenienced.

Our neighbour went back upstairs, said something in Chinese to his friend, then turned back, apologised to us and we went inside our flat. About an hour later, I went to go across to Uni, and walked down to the car in the street. Out of curiosity, I checked the car park and the car was still there. I figured there was no point getting them to move it at that time since I was about to drive away, but hoped it would be gone by the time I returned.

It wasn’t.

I reversed back down the drive, frustrated, then stormed up the stairs to their flat. I knocked on the door and as soon as the guy inside saw me, he quickly said “oh, I was just going down to shift it”. I think he seriously expected me to believe that two hours had passed since I originally requested it moved and just at the precise moment that I knocked on the door, he was just about to go shift it.

I’d had enough of this constant silly game by now, so laughed at him then, before he could scoot past me to shift the car, eyeballed him and said “Perhaps when I asked TWO HOURS AGO for you to please shift the car, it is possible I wasn’t clear. What I really meant was - SHIFT THE F**KING CAR NOW!”

His response was what won him the SPOTD award. Just a little wide-eyed with fear, he blurted out “Oh, I thought it would be okay to leave it there just a little longer because then you went and parked in the street”.

As though I had a choice - the car was occupying both of the parks. Where the hell was I supposed to park? On two wheels, propped against the wall of the carport? He then moved the car from where it was parked to the now empty #6 parking bay. Yes, I’ll stress that again - now EMPTY #6 parking bay.

It would appear that at some point, one of the people in the household had gone out in a vehicle, and nobody thought at that time it would be a good opportunity to move the car illegally parked where I wanted it moved from.

Ah, the hell with one person winning the SPOTD award - I’m going to give it as a group nomination to every single person that lives in #6. It’s a hive of stupidity up there, and all of them deserve it equally.

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Here we are in the land of Travis. It used to just refer to the band, but we’re going to have words to the Scotland Government and they will change things for us. After all, they all obviously think looking pasty and white without a tan is a sexy look. Or, it could just be that there is no sun.

After all the hot weather in Spain and Italy, the UK has come as quite a shock for the temperature difference. Talking to the locals, apparently summer was two weeks ago and this is no longer summer. Really??? So that explains why two weeks ago we could not even bear the idea of wearing more than we had to just to be decent, and now we are wearing all our clothes at once! It is bloody freezing here!

Mind you, the locals are all still in short sleeves and short pants. We stand out as tourists simply because we are wearing polar fleeces under our wind jackets and still shivering…

The flight from Rome was pretty basic, and the jaunt through customs was a breeze. Hired a Fiat Punto (car of choice of the police in Rome), which is a remarkably gutless little rattlebox, with a turning circle about the same as the Ford Econoline in the USA, but hey, that must be the stylish European motor vehicle standards we’re told to drool over…*grin*

Caught up with Jen and Hamish in Milton Keynes for a couple of nights, and in between, zipped over to Oxford to have a look at what appears to be the mother ship for Melbourne Uni. The architecture back home is identical, so there was a clear influence from the old country.

Interesting to see that the students apparently take a lot of pride in their colleges. Then again, ask the officials at University College at Melbourne Uni, and they will say the same thing. Nobody ever mentions the cold cramped rooms in the tourist blurb, do they?

We did a walking tour and there was another Aussie on the tour. He was there because his girlfriend was attending a conference at Oxford and they were taking some personal time (sound familiar?). Anyway, his girlfriend came from Tatura and her sister is married to Tony Kerr, a guy I went to school with in Shepparton. It’s a very small world…

The guide, incidentally, looked like quite an old fellow, but when we went on the walking tour, the group was hard pressed to keep up with him. He was like a rocket, zooming from place to place. Perhaps he had seen it all before, but still, he was not slow at all.

Went to Lincoln and checked out the Joseph Banks Conservatory. For those who came in late, Banks was the botanist on the Endeavour, the boat that Captain Cook discovered Australia on. He collected lots of plants and there is even a plant named after him which is quite common, called the Banksia. Oddly, the Banksia was not growing in the conservatory, and they could only muster pictures on the wall. We wanted to ask why, but there was nobody around to question.

Cruised up the east coast to Whitby, which, in a strange relation to the last point of call, and was not planned, was where the Endeavour was built, and Captain Cook set sail from apparently. A very pretty little town, with lots of tourists and a ruined abbey up on the cliff overlooking the ocean. We could only appreciate this for a short time due to the bitterly cold wind.

Went to York and walked on the old wall that used to go around the town (before the town grew). Very interesting, and the site of the last surviving barbican gate in the UK apparently. Basically, the bad guys would come trying to get in the gate and you would hold them off for a while, then let them think they’d gotten in. Quickly shut the gate behind them and they find another gate in front of them, and you had them pinned. Put a whole stack of your guys around the top and the bad guys are in a lot of trouble. Vicious but effective.

Stayed at a B&B last night due to a howling wind and rain that would have destroyed the tent. Tenting was cheaper, but it would have ripped the tent in two, we feared, so we had to spend the extra cash, alas.

Went to Chester’s Fort this morning, on Hadrian’s Wall. Again, for the benefit of those who came in late, the Romans tried to conquer the Scots but the latter just would not give up, so the Emperor Hadrian ordered a big wall built across the country in 121AD, to stop people going between the two countries.

Chester’s Fort was a fort for the guards on the wall, and a lot of it has been excavated and a lot more is just out in a paddock for people to look at. Really interesting to see such old buildings and foundations, and to think they had running water and latrines and bathhouses way back then. Inventive lot, those Romans…

Crossed from England to Scotland by road (not a boat or ferry in sight!) and immediately saw a guy in a kilt. Of course, he was selling Scottish souvenirs and other stuff, but hey, it’s a guy in a kilt.

As we mentioned, now in Edinburrrrrrgh where it is very cold. Off to see Nessie in the next couple of days and see if we can get a scoop photo that will have the world beating a path to MooQuack dot com.

And then you can say “Oh, I was there so long before everyone else knew about it”…*grin*

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We are now in the city of the Romans - Rome. Upon leaving Spain, we must say that the rain in Spain does really fall on the plane. We sat on the tarmac for over 1.5 hours waiting for the storm to abate so we could all get off. SPOTD went to the guy who, once we took off, raced to the bathrooms to light up his cigarettes. He denied it, of course, but he was betrayed by the fact he stunk of fresh cigarette smoke. No consequences though. Personally, we think he should have been chucked off the moving plane…

Checked out the Colosseum from the outside, the Vatican from the inside, the multiple fountains from the dry side, and the city on the dodgy side. Okay, so it’s been pretty good so far, but there was a gang of young children who tried to take my wallet. Too bad for them that I had a safety pin on the zipper of the pocket. Still, they respond well to threats and left quickly once they realised I was prepared to smack their heads together a little.

We’re actually living the high life at the moment, with air conditioning even (and of course, it’s nowhere near as bloody hot as it was in Spain!). Basically the hostals are all really full and we’ve ended up with a 3-star hotel for about $10 per night more as a last minute deal. TV. Private bathroom. Air conditioning. Much better than the plebs down in the crappy youth hostels…*grin*

We are in walking distance to everything we want to see, but our feet hurt a bit from the uneven cobblestones. Drivers in Rome are pretty mad, but once you get used to the road rules (ie: He Who Has The Motor Vehicle Makes The Rules!), it’s quite easy.

Been eating gelati every day while here since we found a locals-only shop which costs AUD$2.50 for 3 giant flavours of gelati as opposed to AUD$7.00 for one miserably small cup from the gelati shops nearer the tourist traps.

On to the UK tomorrow, and perhaps even get back into a vroom vroom of my very own once more. To hell with this walking rubbish - I want a car!

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