Originally posted from Barcelona, this update was split into multiple parts (see related articles) for the sake of reducing the loading time due to the images involved…

Checking in from the city that never sleeps, or at least the people outside in our street, it´s another MooQuack. Actually, the people last night were pretty quiet, but my sunburn kept me awake most of the night. It´s not too bad as long as I don´t breathe in or out, or move or lie still…

We went to a bullfight in Valencia the other night, and it was great! Just as we hoped, it was not always the bullfighters winning, and a couple of bulls hurled the matadors into the ground and started pummelling them which made everyone cheer in a sadistic fashion.

It was all very ceremonial. First a couple of blokes with funny hats on horses came out, and they seemed to be the masters of ceremony or something. Next, the people against the bull came out in their sexy outfits. Nothing like the sight of 20 guys in spandex to enrage a bull.

Basically, they would release a bull, and then it would run around for a bit, charging at some guys who would run away and hide behind the walls when it came near them. Eventually, it began to slow down a little due to running fast, and then the guys got braver, beginning to wave the cape a little and trick the bull into charging the cape.

After about 10 minutes of that, a trumpet would sound and a couple of people on horses came in. The horses were really well padded with some thick material, and were blindfolded, presumably to make them not just run away from the angry bull. The bull then attacked the side of the horse while the rider sat safely on top, sticking a lance into the bull to weaken it a bit more. Given the bulls all came out with a ribbon stuck into them with a big pin, they were already irritated for good reason, and this did not make them any more happy.

After the mounted guys had stabbed the bull a bit, they retreated, and the next step was infinitely more bizarre. Armed with nothing more than a couple of stakes covered in material, a guy would charge toward the bull charging him. At the last second, he would leap to one side and stab the stakes into the neck of the bull and jump out of the road. The timing in this was impeccable, and really impressive.

Six stakes into the bull, and it was beginning to really get angry, but also was weakening a bit, so that is when the bullfighter came out to do all the cape-twirling which is the typical scene of bullfighting. The first bullfighter was dressed in an aqua green spandex bodysuit covered in sequins, and thus I dubbed him “Pretty Boy”. Man, was I cheering for the bull!

He waved his cape and the bull ran past. He did it again and the bull went past again. He got down on one knee and then waved the cape and the bull again went for the cape. He then got a little too cocky and put the cape behind his back, and stepped toward the bull inch by inch.

The idea was that he would dance up to the bull, wave the cape to one side and then the bull would run toward the cape, missing his body. The bull came up with a better plan and simply ran at him. He was dancing up to it, a mere foot from the horns when it bowled him over and began ramming him into the ground. Support staff came from all directions, waving capes to distract it, while the crowd began to cheer “Go Toro!”. Since the crowd was mainly tourists, we were all there for the bull, and we imagine a local crowd would have been more sympathetic.

“Pretty Boy” escaped, having just lot a little bit of material on his cheeks of his bottom, and he recovered himself quickly enough to get back out there and finish the bull off a few minutes later.

The bullfighter has a sword that they stick into the neck of the bull, and the bull drops about 8-12 seconds later. A support staff member runs in with a sharp knife, and with one blow, kills the bull properly by stabbing the brain. At least that is the theory…

It worked properly the first time, but the other five bulls were not so lucky because they were not professional bullfighters. In some cases, the sword did not go in far enough, and the bull would shake it out, and they´d have to stick it in again. In one case, the aim was so bad, the sword stuck out the side of the bull and it looked awful. People were booing greatly at that one, especially the locals.

Also, the support staff of one of the three bullfighters seemed to be novices. One bull took nine stabs to the brain to kill it, because the guy with the knife kept missing the vital spot. It was truly a gruesome death, but we´re glad we went along anyway. Probably the only “sport” in the world where you can buy a Coke and watch a guy sharpen a dagger in between plays.

Categories: Travel, Odyssey 2001