This should be the last time we check email in the USA, and figured we’d do it in New Jersey - our 41st state of the travels.

The last time we sent the mail on what we were sad about leaving behind. This one is the one on what we’re looking forward to leaving behind/seeing once more when we get home. This is not to say we have not enjoyed ourselves here, but let’s face it - there’s no place like home, and nothing like travelling to make one long for the simple pleasures of familiarity.

1. Meat pies and sausage rolls. You’d never think that such a stupid little meal would be craved for, but it is. The closest we were able to find were “pot pies” but the pastry is like rubber, and not a nice flaky puff pastry like we’re used to.
2. Cartoons that allow kids to be kids. It seems the days of kids being entertained by the concept of a coyote chasing a roadrunner are over. We’ve seen cartoons here that had storylines involving a girl and boy on a first date when she suddenly felt sick in the stomach. They thought it was food poisoning, but it turned out to be cramps as a result of her first menstrual period. That was an eye-opener as to what kids are learning today!
3. No more cheese in everything. Cheese in biscuits. Cheese on steak. Cheese in a can. Cheese inside hotdogs. Deep fried cheese curds. Cheese with extra cheese. Yuk! And not even normal looking cheese, but some weird orange coloured stuff - no colour in nature exists the same as American cheese…
4. Speed limits that mean something. Oh sure, I’ll regret putting this one in, since some day in the next couple of years I’ll get a speeding ticket at home, but it does get a little scary out there on the roads. Yesterday, we were on I-80, doing 75mph in a 65mph zone. A truck screamed past us uphill, and I accelerated to know what speed they were doing - turned out to be 89mph (142kph). When a semi-trailer is doing that speed, and you’re in a Hyundai Accent/Excel, it’s a little alarming.
5. Pickup trucks called utes. Gas called petrol. Sidewalks called footpaths. Soda pop called soft drink. Fries called chips. Curbs called gutters. You get the idea - it’s hard to learn English as a foreign language.
6. World news. There is nothing happening in the world outside the US according to the media. Even CNN which has 24 hours of news devotes all the rest of the world into a snippet called the “Global Minute”. We’ve watched this desperately, trying to sneak a glimpse at life outside the continental US, but the definition of “foreign news” is a little dodgy. George W Bush talking about how the Israelis and Palestinians should stop fighting is “foreign news”. Canada is “foreign news”. Mexico is “foreign news”.
7. Stupid people that cannot fall back on the excuse that we are from a foreign country. We stayed at the Wilkes-Barre Travelodge last night due to a torrential downpour. They promised a “continental breakfast”. This turned out to be chocolate frosted mini-donuts, and when we politely asked for the cereal or toast or continental breakfast, the desk clerk got really irate and yelled that “we’ve had that for 3 years and nobody else has complained - you obviously just do it differently where you’re from”. On the plus side, at least we know now what to expect for breakfast in the next leg of our travels - until then, we did not know that the chocolate frosted mini-donut was the only thing eaten in Europe for breakfast. Yeah, right…
8. People who get sarcasm. I know we have met many US and Canadian residents that appreciate droll comments, but there are so many out there that do not. It’s rather irritating having a conversation where I joke that I have no accent and it is the other person with the accent, and then have to endure the other person patiently trying to explain the concept of accents to me.
9. Metric. Need I say more?
10. People who don’t believe:

• Steve Irwin, Crocodile Hunter, is a bloody idiot.
• Foster’s tastes bad.
• They are called “prawns”, not “shrimp”.
• We don’t barbecue them anyway.
• We do not drive Subaru Outbacks.
• Koalas are not harmless and cute.
• Kangaroos are not a common pest in central Sydney.
• There is more to Australia than Sydney.
• Yes, even more than Sydney and Ayers Rock.
• No, the snakes are not lined up at the airport to kill you when you get off the plane.
• We do not have pet kangaroos.
• Socialised medicine is not a bad thing.
• You do not need a gun to protect your liberty.
• Trigger locks are useless if you keep a loaded gun on the floor behind your chair and you have toddlers.
• Yes, there really is an Australian Dollar.
• Saying “Giddoi” as a farewell is stupid.
• And not just because you cannot pronounce it.
• No, I am not Crocodile Dundee just because I wear a hat.
• Yes, currencies can actually be not on a 1-for-1 basis.
• The Canadians are lucky to be at $US0.65 - we’d love to be that high with our exchange rate.
• Yes, we drive on the other side of the road.
• Yes, The steering wheel in Australian cars is on the opposite side of the car to cars in the USA.
• No, it is not scary to drive on the other side of the road - it’s easy.
• A pastie has vegetables in it.
• New Zealand is not part of Australia.
• Steve Irwin, Crocodile Hunter, is a bloody idiot, and though we’ve said it before, we’ll say it again because he really is.

And now, onward to the rest of the world…

Categories: Travel, Odyssey 2001