Just reporting in on our day off after seeing the rodent. After so long, we finally fulfilled our primary school dreams of going to Disneyworld, and saw it all. We got up nice and early and went in the gate as it opened, and headed straight for the back of the park. We were able to just walk onto the Splash Mountain ride (a lot longer than the usual log ride at theme parks) and also onto the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad (a roller coaster ride) which are very popular usually.

By the time we got off the second ride, the park was beginning to get fuller, and the lines were forming. These rides, later in the day, have a line involving a one hour plus wait, so it was best to head to the back of the park first and get them quickly. After the first two rides, we rapidly found a bad patch of low-fun trash in Adventureland and decided we needed a rating system because they were so lame.

Trying to decide which we’d do first - Pirates of the Caribbean or Jungle Cruise, we chose the Pirates since they sounded more exciting and would have bigger lines later. Turned out the only thing exciting was the footpath to the actual ride, and that was not exciting at all. It was a really slow ride in a boat through some poorly-lit animatronic pirates who were hard to understand and difficult to see. Rating : 2/10 Splash Mountain : 8/10 Big Thunder Mountain Railroad : 8/10

The next thing we decided was the Jungle Cruise, knowing it could not be more pathetic. Wrong. It was. Yes, through the magic of Disney, they made a ride so bloody awful, we were almost prepared to jump into the mouths of animatronic crocodiles. The guy on the boat who was our “safari guide” told the worst scripted jokes we’ve ever heard in our lives. The Disney movies are known for their snappy humour and are usually very good to watch, but evidently the people who wrote the script for the Jungle Cruise never met the people who write the movies. The delivery of the jokes was done in the most bored voice possible (and yes, it would be a bad job, but it was only 10am) and right at the end, he informed us “if you didn’t like this ride, be sure to tell your friends - it’s how we keep our lines short”. Hmm… Okay, so we’re doing what he said to do, but I am not sure that’s the Disney spirit - discouraging people from going on the stuff. Rating : 0/10

At this point, it began to pour rain (was forecast for late arvo, and not very much of it) and we’d left our coats in the van. We were going back to it anyway, since it made more sense to eat our own lunch at 11:00am and dinner at 5:00pm than to buy food there (US$2.50 for a small cup of Coke half filled with ice) and also to get out of phase with most people’s meal times. We headed back to the car to get our coats while all around us, people snapped up ponchos at outrageous prices. People were queued up to pay US$11.32 for a piece of plastic they could have bought at Walmart for US$1.00, with the only difference being one had Mickey Mouse on the back of it.

We waited to see if the rain would lift by going into the Tiki House. A few good jokes, and a decent sort of show, although we looked at one another in horror the first minute it was going because it was so bad. After the last two rides, we were not expecting much, but it improved markedly. Rating : 5/10

The Swiss Family Robinson treehouse was, well, a big walk up a plastic tree. There were a few rooms up there, but nothing interactive, so we went back down again. Rating : 1/10

Once we got our coats and had eaten, we headed back into the park and went to Tomorrowland. Went on the ExtraTERRORestrial ride, which was a little bit disappointing for me since my seat did not work the same as everyone else’s. All around me, people were reacting to things the seat was doing to them, but my seat remained seat-like and dull. Diana rated this one : 7/10.

We got a FastPass for the Buzz Lightyear ride (basically a scheme where if the line is too long, you get a ticket to say “come back at a certain time and you walk straight in”) and then went to the Indy Speedway. Our first negative rating for the day with a -1/10 because it was appallingly slow and pathetic. This is definitely one that small kids would like because they don’t get the chance to drive, but through the eyes of people our age, you just wanted to get out, kick the car off the restrictive tram track and drive over the lawn to freedom. At one mile per hour. Downhill.

Rocket ships were next, on the AstroOrbiter, and it was kind of fun. Like all rides, they lasted about 1 minute 10 seconds, but it seemed like the best activity after the Speedway. They went around and around and you could move a lever to go up and down, so it sounds pretty bad, but was kind of fun. Rating : 5/10

We headed over to Buzz Lightyear again and went straight in, much to the disgust of those standing in line. Very cool, since it was interactive and you had to join him in defending the galaxy by shooting stuff with laser guns. The carriage would spin around the way you wanted so you could do a full 360 and shoot anything you wanted to. No points for the people behind or in front though… Oh, Serren - those little cute 3-eyed green aliens were there in the ride, and I blasted the smeg out of them…*evil laughter* Rating : 10/10 - a must do!

From there, we went on the Carousel of Progress while we waited for our FastPass to Space Mountain. It was kind of interesting, and we certainly did not expect the entire theatre to revolve around a stage, rather than the other way around. Basically some animatronic people talking about various times in the century and how technology is changing their lives. Not too bad, and no line. Rating : 5/10

Off to Fantasyland next, we went there through Cinderella’s castle, which is the most famous thing about Disneyworld really. It was disappointing though, because you could not do anything in the castle, and it was just a gift shop. We were expecting lots more after seeing it at the end of all the Disney things for years. On the other side of the castle, we found a huge merry-go-round which we lined up for and got to ride wild horses. Not as action-packed as other rides, but kind of nice in a nostalgic way. Rating : 6/10

After that, we headed over to ride Dumbo, which Di had spied from the line earlier. There was no waiting period marked on the line, and it took us close to 40 minutes to get on board, but it was lots of fun again, in a “I am too big for this ride” way. Rating : 6/10

Over to Goofy’s Barnstormers, which was another roller coaster. 32 minute waiting period. 1 minute, 4 second ride. Not a great ratio, but it seems everything needs to be lined up for in the world of Disney. Rating : 6/10

We were going to go into Mickey’s house and meet him, since the characters no longer wander through the park for you to meet, but the line was horrendous. We decided it was not that important to meet an acne-ridden 16yo in a hot suit so left and went on the steam-train around the outside of the park to Frontierland again to go to Tom Sawyer’s island. We had to ride a raft over to the island, and explore caves and forts and a secret passage (that was so secret it only appeared in the guide map for the park, and had a sign pointing to it saying “secret passage”). One of the things we found at all of Disneyworld was that the lighting was really bad. The first cave was so dark that we both stumbled our way through it, walking into walls and jutting-out beams of wood. Not much fun really. The whole island would have been much better appreciated by younger people, and I reckon that I would have loved it about 15 years ago, but it was not much for the adult age. Rating : 4/10.

Space Mountain was the final ride for the day and then we had done everything we wanted to get on, so we went back over there. The FastPass line still had a little wait, due to a breakdown earlier in the day, but it was not much. The more worrying thing was that we were about to get on a roller coaster on which things could clearly go wrong… This ride was probably the best of the day, and got a 10/10. It was one heck of a ride, with no idea of where the track was going next because it was all dark and designed to appear as though you were flying through space, with stars whizzing by.

The Main Street Electrical Parade was at 7:30pm and we chose seats we thought the parade would go past and sat for a while - it seemed to be the thing to do as hundreds of other people were doing it and we wanted to be able to see it. Just before the parade began a guy told everyone that we were not on the parade route and we should move but we figured that if we stood on our seat we would see it better than if we moved and we did. All the floats and the people in the parade were lit up with fairy lights and were brilliant. There was a song playing through it though, which you can hear in the video clip at : http://www.mooquack.com/odyssey/images/usa/fl/Mvc-118v.mpg : but you have to imagine it on repeat play for 20 minutes at high volume. Insidious.

After the parade, we waited in the same seats and watched the fireworks explode over the top of Cinderella’s castle. We were on the left side, as you look at it, and that was the good side (there’s a tip for all you people considering going). It was exactly like at the end of all those Disney shows we used to watch, so was extremely nostalgic. When You Wish Upon A Star was the song playing, and it was just like being in 1982 all over again.

The traffic was not that bad, which was stunning, considering there were so many people leaving at the same time. We were able to drive out at the speed limit, not the estimated 10 mph we were expecting. A pizza for dinner, and I think we fell asleep before the final slice made it halfway down our throats.

We decided that instead of going to Epcot today, we’d take a day off to recover, since we were footsore and exhausted. We’ve spent the day with voucher books, going around getting free stuff just because it’s free. Great fun. We got a keychain with a shell on it that looks like it will last at least two days before breaking, and also a go-kart ride for free. The only problem with the go-kart was that I drove through a puddle and got absolutely soaked up the back of my legs and in the groin area. Looked like I had no self control at all. Diana laughed.

Off to Epcot tomorrow, to see the other park. We would like to say “thanks again” here to Jose who got us the tickets at a reduced price. We actually found out we could get cheaper tickets here in Kissimmee, but we’d need to buy a timeshare to get them. Much less hassle the way we’ve gotten them.

Categories: Travel, Odyssey 2001