Only last week, someone deliberately set fire to a part of Royal Park during the middle of the day, which ended up burning about four hectares of grassland.

Last night, we heard a car horn begin to blast continuously. I thought it was the movie Di was watching, and so paid no attention for a minute or so. When I asked though, she told me it was not on the television. We left it for another minute, then I went to the door to see if I could find out where the idiot was.

Turns out there is a car in the park across the road from our place which is now a giant fireball, and the horn is going off continuously, presumably due to burning the right (or wrong) parts of the electronics. We called the fire brigade, and went out to have a look. They arrived a few minutes later, and put the car out very efficiently, and the police had a word to some people on the other side of the fire. We think they might have reported it as well, since the 000 operator told me that another call had come in while I was talking to them.

Saturday, we awoke to the evil bagpipe players over at Milparinka Adult Education centre having a bit of a practice session at 8:00am.

Later in the day, when working on the computer, I suddenly heard the tinkling of musical chimes and I figured the neighbours had put up a wind chime or something. Went on for a few minutes, so I went out to see where it was located. Turns out there is a guy standing in the street, playing an xylophone next to his car. Don’t tell me we don’t have weird neighbours. It’s not an unpleasant sound (that’s the bagpipers that were going full blast at 8am today), but it is a little odd.

There are times when it all makes perfect sense to get out of this street full of nutters, you know. Tuesday is Moving Day, so this is possibly the last MooQuack mail sent from this computer for a long while, and perhaps a good time to get out of the street as well.

In other news, the people organising accommodation at the International Grassland Congress might have just qualified for the SPOTD award. We’ve just all been sent vouchers by email to print out, so we can take them with us, and present them to the counter of the hotel where we stay. It seems logical to me that they would identify clearly where you were on the voucher, and it does do so.

In large text, it reads that we have a double room booked at the Nacional Inn, Piracicaba, and the address of the hotel, and our names, and all that other information. What is not clear is why we need to print them in colour. The instructions say that unless we print them in colour, they won’t be able to tell what city we are going to (there are three cities being used for accommodating all the conference people). Seems stupid not to have just put a big number on the side, representing the city, so people did not have to take the file to get it printed in colour.

Very tempting to just get the green pencil out and colour in the voucher on the way over there. After all, we’ll have enough time to do a spot of colouring in, and so long as the turbulence is at a minimum, the chance of going outside the lines should be low.

Finally, here’s a bonus - no Gwyneth Paltrow movie on the plane to Los Angeles. I was particularly worried we’d be forced to watch the (presumably awful) movie “Duets” that features Gwyneth singing that (definitely awful) song that is always on the radio at the moment. I know, I know, some people think she does a good job of singing, and that’s fine. You know who you are, and I know who you are, and you probably know I think you’re an idiot for thinking she is doing more than revealing to the world that she is multi-talentless.

If you don’t know I think you’re an idiot, then please consider this your notice. Should you ever choose to renounce your thoughts on liking that insipid piece of tone-deaf drivel, please fill out application form 156-Ofb and lodge it at your nearest MooQuack Embassy. Include two passport-sized photographs, and a self-addressed, stamped envelope. Be prepared to wait for 2-6 days for a response. Be prepared to be initially rejected for no clear reason, then have the rejection annulled. Be also prepared to pay an application fee ($25), a stamp duty of $53, and an heretofore unknown flanglemaster tax of $5.60 - all forms of payment happily accepted except cash, credit cards, barter, intimate favours and cheques.

Next stop - Brazil! Well, okay, so the next stop is Los Angeles, and then the stop after that is Dallas, but right after that - it’s Brazil! We’ll be coming to you live from Sao Pedro, two hours inland from Sao Paulo, and the Odyssey will have begun at last.

Categories: Travel, Odyssey 2001