I’m on a roll here at the moment, aren’t I? I am not going out of my way in the slightest trying to find examples of Stupid People, and yet, they just appear around me. Todays SPOTD was actually spread over the 11:58pm - 12:03am period of the 27th and 28th, so he could actually have taken the award for both days if nobody else had qualified, but the 27th was already won by the neighbour whose car is too modified to get out of the driveway for yesterday.

Last night I went to get Di from work, and was waiting at the traffic lights to cross an intersection, minding my own business and listening to the car radio. All of a sudden, I noticed there was a guy walking on the road, screaming and cursing at the walls and nobody in particular. He was clad in black T-shirt and faded black jeans, and was sporting a peroxide blonde “mullet” haircut that looked rather dank and needing a wash.

His venting continued for about thirty seconds before he abruptly decided to rip off his T-shirt and run around without it. Technically. Since he had taken it off over his head, but still had both arms in the sleeves with the T-shirt behind his back, he was limited to sort of thrusting his extremely white and puny chest out if he wanted to make a point. He stormed back up to the intersection and started screaming abuse at a person around the corner. Based on the location of the person he was yelling at, I assumed (and confirmed later when the lights changed and I moved forward) that he was abusing the bouncer/doorman of one of the strip clubs that are located in that street. Presumably he had been thrown out for some reason, and he was not happy.

Screaming “COME ON RIGHT HERE! I’LL HAVE A PIECE OF YA! MOTHERF***ER!” did not seem that intelligent to me, since the guy he was abusing was about twice the size of him and, in the event the bouncer rushed at him, both his arms were trapped behind him in his T-shirt. I doubt the bouncer could have covered the distance in time to catch him like that, but still, there was a small chance it could have happened.

While sitting there watching all this, a couple of other cars stopped at the lights, one of them being a relatively old, but well-looked after, hotted-up car. The screaming guy started to walk away from the bouncer, still yelling, and climbed into the passenger seat of that car, which stunned me until I realised they must have known each other. The driver of the car began to rev the car angrily, creeping forward in spurts until the lights changed.

While this was happening, the screaming guy had wound down the window and was roaring abuse out of it at the car next to him (the one in front of me) for looking at him. Finally the lights changed and the screaming guy climbed halfway out of the car to sit on the window ledge, hanging on to the roof with one hand, while pointing angrily at the bouncer and screaming “I’M GOING TO GET YOU MOTHERF***ER! YOU ARE GONNA GO DOWN! WATCH YOUR BACK! I’LL F***ING KILL YOU!” while his driver spun the wheels and turned right as fast as he could, leaving a black trail of rubber across the intersection. The driver was obviously so enraged by the treatment of his friend that he ignored the whole “traffic going straight through an intersection has right of way over turning vehicles” and “right turning vehicles must wait for oncoming left-turning vehicles” rules, cutting off two cars mid-intersection as the smoke and rubber peeled off his rear wheels.

The screaming guy continued to hang on one handed to the roof of the car (must have been some pretty strong forces on him actually, since the car was turning away from the side he was on, and would have been “pulling” him out the window) all the way down the street to the next set of lights. At that point, I was across the intersection and lost sight of them, but I figured was a pretty good example of stupidity, and therefore probably worthy of the SPOTD award.

Categories: SPOTD