We decided to go and see the film “Wild Wild West” (Will Smith, Kevin Kline) at Hoyts, seeing as we had free tickets to go along to a movie of our choice, and the alternative was sitting at home watching television. Having gotten our tickets, we headed to the theatre, walked in and were confronted with an unusual situation - we were the only people in the entire theatre. Having our pick of seats, we headed to some centre seats in a row which was a comfortable viewing distance from the screen. When we got to the centre seats, we noted that there was a reasonable amount of sticky Coke on the floor from the previous session, so we just moved up a couple of seats and sat down to enjoy the film.

A couple of minutes later, a lady about 30 years of age walked into the theatre as well, which we were a little disappointed at, because it would have made the movie more special to have an entire theatre to ourselves - make it feel like we were celebrities or something. She looked around to find a seat, and then walked up to the same row that we were sitting in. We looked at each other in surprise, because seeing as we were the only other people in the cinema, it seemed silly she would choose the exact same row.

She then dumbfounded us by walking up to a seat in the row that left only one spare seat between us and herself. Of all the seats, she had to sit one seat away? She must have noticed us giving her weird looks because she leaned over and informed us that she “had to sit in the middle seat because I always sit in the middle seat in the centre“.

Correctly assessing her as stupid, we gave her a weirder look, and moved back a couple of rows so that we did not feel like we were crowded in by her choice of seats. Another couple of minutes passed and a fellow joined her, and we saw her telling him what had just happened. At the end of the movie she came up to where we were sitting, and walked to our seats. We figured she was just about to let fly with acid comments about us being rude and leaving our seats, but to our surprise, she apologised to us and again explained she “had to sit in the middle seats because I always sit in the middle seats“.

There has to be even the smallest amount of intelligence in her that would say it was socially unacceptable to sit down beside the only other people in a 351-seat cinema. When we worked out where the seats were, they were indeed located in the very centre of the block of seats, but the thing she had failed to account for was that the cinema was set up as 3 rows of seats, followed by an aisle across the cinema, then another 11 rows of seats. Thus, even if she was actually an obsessive-compulsive disorder sufferer, where she was sitting was actually not the dead centre of the cinema - only the centre of the block of seats.

The question is, if we had not noticed the Coke, and sat down in the seats, would she have asked us to move? Would her stupidity have been so overwhelming that she would have requested we vacate our seats in order she could take our place?

The world is full of stupid people, with Di and myself obviously wearing magnets to attract them…*sigh*

Categories: SPOTD