As far as we could get from a major centre, lazing on the beach in a World Heritage area. Surely we could not find a SPOTD here. Think again.

Invariably we found our Stupid Person Of The Day, and this one was streets ahead of the rest of the contenders. (Note to Americans: you must surely have some decent representatives of your country to show us - send them out here instead of the idiots that keep gracing our shores). Yes, this person was an American, with an extremely piercing twang to her voice. We got the impression from other encounters around the park with her that she was a professional traveller, and her slightly-overcooked brown tanning seemed to support this argument.

Arriving two days previous to us, she had seen the dolphins on the previous day, at all three feedings. On the morning when we saw the feedings for the first time, she was blowing kisses to the dolphins, and speaking in that baby language reserved for use by people who own those small, yapping, useless dogs. One of the dolphins was called Nicky, and the entire morning was filled with her voice over-riding the rangers with a one-way conversation of :

“Hello Nicking Darling! I love you! Yes! Yes! I do! I do love you, my beautiful little baby! {blow a kiss} Yes Nicky Darling! We *all* love you! Oh, you are sooo beautiful! I love you so much! {blow a kiss} You’re so cute and wonderful - oh, we all love you! Yes, we really do! {blow several kisses}”

She had seen the dolphins up close, by her own admission, only the previous day, but she had been:

“unable to sleep all last night just thinking about these beautiful babies! Aren’t they beautiful! Yes they are! Yes, you are sooo beautiful, aren’t you Nicky Darling! Oh my beautiful little Nicky Darling! {blowing a kiss} We all love you oh so much! You’re so gorgeous Nicky Darling! Yes you are! {blowing more kisses}”.

Nonetheless, this lack of previous experience did not stop her talking to the rangers as though she had been living with dolphins all her life, and generally putting a pained expression on the ranger’s face every time she spoke, because he was so close to the accent. In fairness to her, it was not a Fran Drescher accent, but it was still not pleasant to listen to.

Definitely a worthy SPOTD award recipient…

Categories: SPOTD